“Authenticity is not something we have or don’t have. It’s a practice — a concious choice of how we want to live. Authenitcity is a collection of choices we have to make everyday. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” –Brene Brown
Today I want to explain why I think being genuine is so important.
Sometimes when you’re going about life you just feel like a failure. You begin to think that everyone else has it all together, but they don’t. If you say that everything is perfect and you have your life completely figured out and there’s never any complications, well, you’re lying. The truth is, none of us really know what the heck we’re doing.
Maybe you’re in high school and you’re getting behind and feel stressed because you still don’t know exactly what you want to do with your life, you haven’t found your calling, you don’t know what you’re truly passionate about yet, and it seems like everyone else just knows and is working toward their goal. Time is ticking. You feel stuck.
Maybe you’re a new mom trying to get a grip on motherhood and you feel like a failure because it’s hard, and sometimes you yell at your kids and feel like locking yourself in a closet with a package of oreos instead of changing the 20th diaper of the day. The kids don’t listen, they scream, they fight, the days seem to last forever, and you’re counting down the minutes until bedtime so you can sit and enjoy the silence. But you don’t want to complain because It seems like everyone else knows how to do this mom thing. It seems so easy, but it’s not.
Maybe you’re starting a new job and you get upset with yourself when you don’t catch on to things right away. Everyone else knows how to do it right, so you feel like an idiot.
Maybe you just feel like an awkward weirdo and you struggle to make friends and you feel alone and out of place. Maybe you have peculiar hobbies that you’re embarrassed to talk about because you think it’ll make you look stupid.
Maybe you find it hard to work out and eat healthy. Everyone is always going on about how great it makes them feel. but personally you feel like you’ve just been hit by a train, and you’d rather eat a donut than kale chips and kombucha.
Maybe you struggle with reading your bible and taking time to pray every day, and you feel like a terrible person, like God must be so disappointed in you. Everyone else clearly reads their bible and studies it every day, right?! I mean they even take the time to put it on their social media, and brag about it so I mean *obviously*
Well, my friends, I am here today to tell you that it’s okay. These struggles are real, and even when it seems like nobody else has them, they do. Trust me.
To the high-school students who are stressed about getting behind and not knowing what their calling is: you’re gonna find it, I promise. Yahweh has amazing plans for your life, so keep pushing through!
To the exhausted moms who feel like failures: You’re doing an amazing job! Your kids think you’re the bomb! When they grow up they’re not gonna remember the messy house or how you yelled at them after you stepped on their legos. They’re gonna remember the amazing way that you showed love to them, and all those precious memories, because that’s what motherhood is all about.
To those who have a hard time adjusting to a new job: You’re doing great! Just keep on keeping on, you’ll get the hang of it eventually.
To those who struggle fitting in: Everyone feels out of place at one point or another! It’s hard to fit in, so stop trying. Just be yourself. Keep enjoying your weird hobbies, (even if they’re super weird, like arm knitting or geocaching) you do you! Don’t be ashamed.
To the people who have a hard time living a healthy lifestyle: Just accept the fact that it’s not an easy thing to do, even though people make it seem like it is, at one point I’m sure they felt crappy after a workout and even craved donuts! *gasp*
To the ones who find it hard to read your bible every day: Yahweh is not disappointed in you! He loves you, and He’s so proud of you for having a desire to know His word and seek Him. We all have days when it feels difficult, just do your best!
It seems these days all we ever see or hear about is all the great things that are happening in everyone’s lives. There is nothing wrong with sharing your accomplishments or being proud of something you did, but if that’s all we ever talk about it starts to seem fake. What if we also shared the things we’re not proud of?
If I’m being honest, I trip over my own words and my own feet, I’m very clumsy, (once I even fell in a lake in front of like thirty people… Twas very humiliating) I say stupid awkward things, I’m actually pretty terrible at doing makeup and nails, my hair is a crazy mess 83% of the time, sometimes I forget to brush my teeth, I sing the wrong lyrics to songs, I take things too personally, I hate running (and most exercises for that matter), my dance moves are pretty embarassing, sometimes I enjoy young adult novels more than classics (go ahead and shame me), I don’t have my driver’s license yet (even though I’m eighteen years old, and most of my friends got theirs ages ago), sometimes I still listen to the Highschool Musical Soundtracks (and watch the movies), I have trouble accepting compliments, sometimes my biggest accomplishment in a day is wearing matching socks, I get cranky and irritated, I have social anxiety, I take too many naps, and I say the word “crap” entirely too much (especially for a lady).
Let’s stop taking ourselves too seriously!
Being real is about being relational. What I’m not saying is that we should complain all the time, and obviously, discretion is still very important, (some things just don’t need to be said out loud!) and of course, we should always be kind. But I guess my point is, we are called to build each other up, no man is an island. How can we do that if we feel alone in our struggles?
Countless times I’ve found it comforting to find that other people share my experiences.
Being real is very important in all kinds of relationships. Just to tell someone how you’re feeling about something, or being able to communicate if there’s a problem is crucial! Instead of pretending like everything is okay all the time and talking about pointless shallow things. Ain’t nobody got time for that sugar-coated nonsense!
So let’s be more open! Keep sharing your accomplishments, but maybe share some real, raw everyday life as well? Instagram your laundry that’s been waiting to be folded all week, admit when you fail, laugh at yourself when you trip over your own feet! Be genuine in your relationships, don’t be ashamed to talk about the things you have a hard time with, and maybe, just maybe, we’ll be able to relate to each other, and we can encourage one another in this crazy, messy thing called life.
This plastic world needs more sincerity! More people willing to be genuine about themselves and the people around them. Writing this blog I think has helped me tremendously to step out of my comfort zone, make myself vulnerable, and be more real. It’s not an easy thing to be like “Hey everybody! Come read about the deepest parts of my soul!” but it’s liberating.
The truth is, we are all imperfect and flawed. It’s so much easier to hide behind a mask and pretend we don’t have issues, but everyone has scars and bruises. We were born to be real, not perfect.
I would rather people like me for who I really am than for who they think I am.
“I want to be remembered as someone who was sincere. Even if I made mistakes, they were made in sincerity. I can deal with a person who was wrong, as long as they were sincere.” -Unknown