I don’t even know where to start. 2017 was quite a year for me…
There has been a lot of loss and heartache, but also a lot of joy. I made some of the most beautiful memories of my life this year.
However, it did not start well.. A couple of friends passed away over the span of the first few weeks… That was really hard and sad for everyone.
As the months went on I got into my first relationship, which ended promptly. (I’ll expound more on this another day) That was also hard. I’d never experienced that kind of pain before. It took awhile to mend, but now I can confidently say that I am completely healed from the situation, and while sometimes I wish I could take it all back, I know now that it happened for a reason, and I learned so much from it.
Over the summer, I had an amazing opportunity to visit friends of mine in North Idaho. They opened a cafe and needed some workers, so I stayed with them for two months and worked for them. I had never left my family for that long, so the first couple of days were rough because I missed them a LOT. But I kept in contact through texting, phone calls, and FaceTime.
We went to lakes and did kayaking and all sorts of fun things. Northern Idaho is crazy beautiful, and now one of my favorite places in the world. I explored on my own, which was awesome too. Most importantly I built some amazing friendships that I hope will last forever. I miss our crazy car rides and conversations that made me laugh until I couldn’t breathe. It was the best summer I’ve ever had.
After I got home it was hard to adjust. I tried to find a job which took a long time, but eventually, I did, and I HATED it. It was a retail job, and I don’t know… Retail is just not my thing. So, I quit after a few weeks and went back to the daycare I used to work at. That lasted a few weeks until I got horribly sick with mono and had to quit. So yeah, I guess I just wasn’t meant to have a job. This blog would still be a dream if I was working honestly, so hey, que sera sera.
My best friend moved away and I had to go six months without seeing her, but that didn’t tear us apart, we still talked just as much and reunited just a few days ago, which was awesome. Goodbyes are really difficult when you know you won’t get to see that person for a long time, but when you finally do get to see them again it’s so worth it. I think that’s one of my favorite things ever, reuniting with loved ones, the joy is just indescribable, I can’t put it into words.
The last couple of weeks have been filled with packing and getting ready to move, my family has been trying to move back to Oregon for quite some time now, and it’s getting close to actually happening. I can’t wait.
So what did I learn from all of this?
I learned about pain and loss.
I learned that sometimes things don’t work out the way you planned or want them to, but it’s okay, there is always a reason. I learned to trust Yahweh, because He knows what He’s doing, after all…. He’s the creator of the universe! So when I don’t understand what’s going on, I know that I just need to chill. It always works out in the end.
I made stupid decisions, but at the end of the day, I’m better for them. Our mistakes do not define us, it’s how we let it affect us. There’s always a lesson. In the wise words of Captain Jack Sparrow:
“The problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude about the problem.”
Instead of beating myself up, I’m learning to ask myself what I can learn from it.
I learned the importance of being genuine, there are far too many people who put on a fake face, lie, and pretend to be something they’re not. I don’t ever want to be one of those people because I know how much it hurts to be used by one.
I had to say goodbye to lots of people this year, some I will see again, some I will not. Life is a journey, some people aren’t meant to be in your life forever, some are just there for a season. I learned that it’s okay to let go because sometimes holding on will cause more pain in the long run.
I learned about patience… Patience is definitely not my strength. But Abba is teaching me. Sometimes life just sucks…. And you feel like you’re waiting for something that may never happen. But as the very wise C.S. Lewis said:
“I am sure God keeps no one waiting, unless He sees that it is good for him to wait.”
Just need to keep on keeping on… The sun will rise.
I thank Abba every day for taking things away from me that weren’t good for me and blessing me with things I never knew I needed.
I’m so excited for all the new adventures 2018 will hold. Life is a beautiful gift, I want to savor every moment. After all, tomorrow is not promised….
P.S. I am fully aware that I use the word “sometimes” way too much… Deal with it. 😉
P.P.S. This is my song of the year… Listen to it, and be blessed!